it's a sure thing.

i'm gonna let yall in on some news first typed by my own ten fingers. 

said from my own mouth for the first time this past week-has given me grown up chills and an itch of delight towards the future.

--so here it goes.

----i can not wait to be a momma. 

a mommy.

a mom.

-----

good Lord, it's such an expressive phrase.

makes me jump for joy even as i type this.

a little background for yall.

growing up i knew i did not want kids.

adoption was the way i was going to go.

and that was it.

& still may because adoption is such a sweet miracle and pleasing to the Lord.

but with my two boys i watch daily, all day long has left me with an peaceful eagerness.

[i am so growing up.]

being with the boys, i have grown in my heart and taken on so much.

[whoa, i'm getting ahead of myself.]

being young and even in my early twenties i refused on having kids.

it was/is so terrifying to me.

the entire process to me was so morbid.

the scariest thing on this planet.

i have had many nightmares waking up in cold sweats because i dreamt i was actually pregnant.

yall---

i am seeing newborns all the time.
for some reason.

women are poppin' them out left & right and i see much more then i have before.

not to mention, again, in an annoying way, the two sweet boys i'm with all the time.

i can't wait.

i have declared this in my heart, mind and thoughts.

it's literally all i can think about.

i imagine me with my future family.

my little katie's running around.

or sweet katie boys.

also,

i was set on only having girls.

but boys are so the way to go.

they are awesome.

God has showed me beautiful things in beautiful boys the past two years of my life.

i have experienced a ton.

and i'm slowly becoming impatient to have my own now.

i have gotten perspectives galore on lovely pregnancies, and not so lovely.

but the glow i see & the hope, the process and beauty--has left me speechless.

my mind is like, katie! what're you thinking girl?? you're so against this.

you're terrified & you know it.

my heart is now like----katie! sweet girl, you will be a great mom.  there is nothing to fear.

God is behind this.

i can't wait.

have i mentioned that i can't wait?

life is moving fast for me.

big things are happening.

my sister is getting married next week!

she is starting a beautiful family.

i can't wait to have kids together and share our families like our parents have done.

all close in age (here's hoping.)

i can't wait to see their faces.

i can't wait to learn and teach them as they teach me.

i can't wait to see them grow.

i can't wait to be apart of their lives in a profound and beautiful way.

i can't wait to introduce the Lord to them.

i can't wait to read to them.

i can't wait to pray with them.

i can't wait to see them interact.

i can't wait to have other beautiful mentors in their lives as i have had in mine.

[i'm so blessed.]

i can't wait to see them mess up and learn.

i can't wait to introduce music and my favorites to them.

i can't wait to watch them.

i can't wait to love them.

i can't wait for them to make me smile.

i can't wait to smile the way a mom smiles.

i can't wait to see their bed hair and not even care to brush it.

i can't wait to document their lives.

i can't wait to take a million pictures of/with them.

i can't wait to talk to them.

i can't wait to hold them.

i can't wait to have a conversation with them.

i can't wait to have inspiring moments in the future as i do now.
i can't wait to have them disagree with me.
i can't wait to touch their faces and brush their hair.
i can't wait to see and hear them laugh

i can't wait to see them cry.

i am already in love with my future babies.

i could cry.

i think i will---cause these tears are comin'!

pray with me for guidance, wisdom of the now and future for my heart and my future babies hearts. pray for the right guy to come into my life.  that i am obediant and patient in my Lord's direction.  pray for peace.  i'm praying for you.