It is a beautiful fall day. October 2nd. This month is already looking up. When the month starts out smoothly, it will most likely go that way throughout the month. And for that I am grateful. So I have been pretty addicted to Grey's Anatomy lately. It has taken my life away pretty much. Not a good thing, or really a bad thing. But it has put me in a different perspective about life and how things have been thrown at me in wierd directions; catching me off guard. I have been having a rough year. I'll just say that. No need to go on with the details. But one thing that I have always hated hearing is, someone has it worse than me. I don't like to hear that when I am at my lowest. I really don't. I want to wallow in my feelings and feel like I am the only one who is breaking, suffering, depressed, having a bad day in the whole entire world. Even though I know that that is not true, it's just the way that the feelings come most of the time. This week has been a pretty good for me. Because I have MADE it a good week for me. That really makes a big difference. Something that I have not really done before. Always waiting for my day to get better by unexpecting things. I need to make that decision myself. If I want it to be a good day, than I make it a good day. Things will bring me down, but that is just a part of life. I know that.
I was watching Grey's this morning and there was this one episode where this married man had been asleep for about 16 years. A disease that he didn't realize but he was asleep for 16 years. I can't even fathom that. His wife had married someone else, and was pregnant and due in December. He awoke for the first time on Thanksgiving day. And their only son was about 16, had no idea who his father was, and had no real impact in eachother's lives at all. When his family realized that this man, that was once apart of their family, could be woken up again they were not at all excited. He was the Richard Gilmore type. It made me really sad to see this situation happening, and my heart went out to him. I couldn't even imagine! Well when he awoke, his son came in and said a few words and than left. The man decided to go ahead with the surgery, knowing that it might end his life. But after he realized that his life was not the way that it was when he went to sleep for so many years he knew that nothing would really change. He also called his mother earlier on the day before going into the MRI so talk, and realized that she had passed away 8 years ago. If that doesn't get you all teary-eyed.. I don't know what will! He than later on died in the surgery. I was litterally a basket case. Now, I know that this is just a tv show. Nothing more, but it will tug at your heart strings and slap you real good in the face showing you something that you may have wanted to see. And not have been able to see before. It made me realize really... that people have it so much harder than you do. And it made my problems seem as little as a grain of rice. Which is fine.. I needed to get out of my funk. I am grateful to be alive, and to have the friends and family that I have. I am grateful for the Lord Jesus Christ, and the fact that he will always forgive me when I mess up; because I will. I am grateful that I have a job right now, even though I need another one. I am grateful for a lot of things today. And I am realizing that I do have a place in this world. And I know what I need to do. Pray for me.
